Still Alive!

Yes, I still exist!

We're still adjusting to having two spawnlings around here, although Maeve is a delightfully mellow baby. I just haven't had much to write about beyond spawnlings, and although motherhood has been a big part of this blog I don't want it to be the only part. Other people have done it, and probably better than I.

I've been writing HP fanfiction as well, and getting up the gumption to redo the outline on the YA Sci-Fi novel I've had kicking around in my head.

If anybody's interested in reading the HP fanfiction I've written, I'm archived a couple of places:


http://community.livejournal.com/grangersnape100/tag/voxangelus

http://www.thepetulantpoetess.com/viewuser.php?uid=10622

Some of it is smut, if that tickles your fancy.

I hope to be back soon, with more interesting content!

Listen, you pervert

I have half a mind to report people who are searching for "child naked" "naked child" "naked kid" to their ISP's. I think I will.

Fucking perverts.

Hermione Granger, The Pirate Queen

Download and listen here

A filk is new words written to a preexisting song - it's a fandom thing.

Hehe.

Happily Ever After

I will marry Severus Snape.


After a wild honeymoon, We will settle down in Munich in our fabulous House.


We will have 6 kid(s) together.

Our family will zoom around in a black Escalade.

I will spend my days as a princess, and live happily ever after.

It's a Damn Good Thing its Not 1930

22 As a 1930s wife, I am Very Poor (Failure) Take the test!

Maeve at 4 Weeks

I think she weighs around nine pounds. She has great control of her head and neck, can roll from her front to her back, and from her back to her side. She's sleeping 5-6 hours at night (8 last night! whoo!) and is starting to give us just little hints of smiles.

Adjustment

Things are going really well here! I don't know if it's the zoloft or the fact that I feel that Maeve's birth went so much better than Freyja's, but there's no sign of PPD.

Maeve is a really good baby, Freyja is acting like your typical 3 1/2 year old big sister (wants to help one minute, insanely jealous the next), Kerwin is back on 1st shift (amen), and I'm doing really well.

Baby alarm - more later.

Ooo, a BABY!!

Alas, the VBAC was not to be. I did get a fair trial of labor, however, which was what I wanted. Maeve was born on May 7th at 9:48 pm, weighing 7 pounds and 12 oz and measuring 19 inches long :)

I got to about 6 cm and started having intense pain around my prior C/S incision - after talking with my doctors, we decided to go on to a repeat c-section. When they got in, my uterus was paper-thin near the scar. There's no guarantee that it would have ruptured, and I don't think my experience should in any way dissuade anyone else from attempting VBAC. I feel fine about the section - this hospital's post-op protocols are FAR superior to the hospital where I delivered Freyja.

Instead of getting her out and whisking her away to the nursery to be brought back sterile and clean 2 hours later, they just rubbed her dry, let her hang out under the warmer, let Kerwin bring her over for me to give kisses to, and then when they were done suturing me up gave her to me and we went to recovery together. I was able to breastfeed her within 45 min after birth and before she had her first bath. Things are going remarkably well in that department, much better than they did with Freyja.

Here's some pictures - hubby took them. I'll update with new ones once I unload the camera again, since all the rest of them are either screaming naked goo covered child or something equally odd.

Labor Update

My water broke on it's own after getting here to the hospital this morning :)

I'm currently 4 cm, which is as far as I got with Freyja in 12 hours of pitocin labor.

I have a VERY slow pitocin drip right now that is doing the trick, it's been in since about 10:30 this morning.

So things are going very well, hopefully we'll have a baby this afternoon or evening :D

Whaa :(

I just packed my baby girl off to Grandma's to stay until we have her sister.

I feel like I haven't made enough of our time with just her. She's not going to be our only baby anymore. The dynamic is going to be totally different, and I don't think I'm all right with that yet.

It seems like I haven't given her enough kisses, and cuddles, and affection. She's been really independent since she learned to sit up and we've taken advantage of that instead of loving on her more, and playing with her more. Now I don't have any more time with her as my only baby.

Now she has to share us. I didn't expect this to hit me so hard.

And at the risk of sounding cliche, how can I possibly love another one as much as I love her? And how can I give her the attention and love she deserves while taking care of the new one? I'm sure it will all work out and I'll look back a while from now and feel silly about this - but right now I just don't know how I'll do it.

All Systems Go

My doctor was back today, and I was happy to see her.

She's concerned about my blood pressure and about the GD. She still wants to give me an honest shot at a vaginal delivery, however. She gave me the choice of an induction or scheduling the repeat c-section.

My cervix is 90% effaced and 2 cm dialated, so I'm favorable for induction. They won't use drugs on a VBAC mama, so at 3 am Wednesday morning, I'm going in to have my water broken. She swept my membranes today and she thinks I have a good chance of going into labor before then anyway.

I know a lot of hardcore VBAC people aren't going to agree with this. They'd be telling me to push for biophysical profile ultrasounds, etc. However, I trust my doctor. She has been completely upfront with me from the beginning about my chances, the risks, the benefits of VBAC. If it wasn't for the GD, she said she'd be happy letting me go to 42 weeks and probably a little longer. I can accept that. She could refuse to induce me at all, but she left the descision up to me (and said she'd prefer I do the induction b/c she'd much rather attend a vaginal delivery than a c-section).

So that's the news here - I get 36-48 hours to go into active labor from the time they rupture me. I have no idea if I get to stay in the hospital that entire time or not. I'll keep the blog updated, since I'll have the laptop.

Never mind, then.

My mom came to get Freyja and I decided to take a little nap while I still could.

Yep, the second I laid down everything stopped except the pelvic pressure. I don't get it, b/c I was up and moving around, cooking, doing laundry, getting a few last things together and they didn't stop then, did they?

I am really frustrated right now, going on two weeks of prodromal labor with nothing to show for it. I hope that my cervix is at least changing.

Hospital-Bound

This is it, folks. Over the past two hours I've gone from general crampy feelings to regular contractions 4.5 min apart. My mom will be coming to pick up Freyja in a little over an hour and if things are still progressing then, we'll wait a little longer and then head to the hospital.

Wish me luck! Yay, VBAC!

Any Time Now

My back is killing me. I've been having cramps and contractions on and off for the past week. Nothing is happening. I've apparently developed sleep apnea as well. I'm tired.

So, baby girl, you can come out any time now. Please. Before you hit ten pounds.

Mah Hubby Iz Famouse

http://journal.neilgaiman.com/

Check out the entry called "pajamablog" - Kerwin's quite beside himself that he got his question answered. :D

Insomnia

It's 3:43 am.

I woke up around 3, decided sleep was over-rated, and took a shower. I know I should just go back to bed, but I'll probably toss and turn instead of sleeping.

I wish I could report labor pains, but I can report the laptop bouncing from being kicked repeatedly by the unborn spawn.

I sort of feel like cleaning up the house. Maybe I'm nesting. I don't feel enough like cleaning up the house to get out of the recliner, however. The recliner is comfy, and the only place my back doesn't feel like it has knives stabbing into it lately.

It is rather peaceful sitting here in the dark with heavy rain coming down. I might actually call it a torrential downpour.

A Whine

Lower back, hips, thighs = lots of ow.

Typical at 37 weeks? Yes.

Doesn't mean I like it.

I can't get anything done.

I don't want to bring the baby home to a messy house.

I forsee tylenol in my future today.

Still Here

And still pregnant!

Some perinatologist tried to play the dead baby card with me yesterday in regards to my diet-controlled gestational diabetes (which he thinks is not diet controlled because my fasting blood sugars occasionally run 5 points high - nothing any of my other docs have been concerned at all about) Stupid peri, you don't play the dead baby card with a mom who's done her research, especially if you've just looked at my chart for two minutes and decided you know more about my specific case than the doctors and midwives who have seen me my entire pregnancy. No, I will not be scheduling a c-section because you think I should.

He prescribed a blood sugar medication that in the literature states should not be taken within two weeks of delivery to avoid extreme low blood sugar in the infant. I will not be taking it, as the risks outweigh the benefits at this point. I have a call in to my regular OB about it. I'd much rather adjust my carb intake if she thinks it's a problem (which she did NOT on monday).

Thankfully I shouldn't have to see this guy again. I have no idea why I had to see him in the first place, b/c I thought I was just going in for an NST and an ultrasound.

Bad Idea

Remind me never to meditate before going to sleep ever again.

I just woke up from a dream that's left me really shaken - shaken enough to have to get up, check the news, check the phone, check that Freyja is where she's supposed to be. I stopped short of calling Kerwin at work, but if I can't get back to sleep in a half hour or so, I might call him anyway.

I have a cup of tea.

I don't have nightmares often. The dream just started out as odd, but then I got mad about something pretty inconsequential during a family party (I believe I chewed a younger cousin out about how HER religion wasn't the only one in existence, so would she please shut up) . I went outside to take a breather and calm down, and all of a sudden people start pouring out of the house, looking for their family members and their belongings. Something about seventeen people being shot on the floor of a slaughterhouse not far from where we were, and the news said the apocalypse was upon us.

I couldn't find Freyja. I couldn't find Kerwin. I couldn't find my socks. It was dark and they had turned out all the lights in the house, the light switches wouldn't work. Why I was worried about my socks is beyond me. I went into my mom's room (who knows why dream logic works) and got a pair of socks. She coudln't find hers either, so I handed her a pair. She kept screaming something over and over, and I couldn't understand her. As soon as I put the socks on (they were either 60's flower power flowers or stripes...I don't remember which pair I gave my mom), I woke up.

My heart was racing. I had to get up and turn lights on, check on things.

I don't remember the last time I had a serious nightmare bad enough to make me get up out of bed, make a cup of tea, and long desperately for someone to talk to at a quarter to five in the morning.

Taking It Easy

Due to my high blood pressure, midwife wants me to "take it easy" until my next appointment, which is Monday with the OB who is overseeing my VBAC.

Easier than usual? To be honest, my hips and pelvis hurt so much that between fetching meals and snacks for Freyja and myself, going to the bathroom, and occasionally unloading the dishwasher or switching laundry loads, my butt stays in the recliner. Then every evening I do some of the spinningbabies.com postures to attempt to make up for the time in the recliner. From what I can tell, the baby is happily right occiput anterior, so I must be doing something correctly. Left occiput anterior is the end-all-be-all of optimal fetal presentation, but I'll take what I can get.

I'm not sure how much "easier" I can take it without becoming comatose. My blood pressure remains high, but I have zero other symptoms of pre-eclampsia. I'm still wearing my rings and I still have ankles. I am not at all puffy (erm...puffier than usual). In theory, we are still "only" talking pregnancy-induced hypertension (because my blood pressure is shockingly normal when I'm not incubating another human life).

I'm supposed to lie on my left side a lot. I have a stupid uncomfortable couch and a three year old who requires constant supervision just due to her age. She is good about playing independently, which is nice for me - but I can't just hole up in my bedroom while she has run of the rest of the house. Let me tell you that this is probably not going to happen much. Comfortably ensconced in the recliner is the best I can hope for. I might be able to swing 15 min out of an hour on my left side on the couch. Any longer and I'd fall asleep. Not a good thing.

Off to meditate before sleep and see if that helps the blood pressure any.

One calendar month til my due date.

Musical Theatre Meme

Eden's Movie Quote meme made me think of doing a Musical Theatre meme along the same lines.

Everybody who's nerdy can come and play. There might be a couple of you somewhere.

Same rules - identify the musical that the song snippet is from and quote a song snippet you like from the same show. I'm going from classics to contemporary here. I don't think there's anything too obscure.

Since blogger doesn't allow a cut like livejournal and wordpress do (at least, I haven't found out how to create one), once I start getting answers I will just hide them so you'll have to highlight to read.


1. "Why not both instead/there's the answer if you're clever/have a child for warmth/and a baker for bread/and a prince for...whatever"

2. "I'll show you the proper ploys/when you talk to boys/little ways to flirt and flounce"

3. "I'm a girl men go mad for/love's a game I can play/with a cool and confident sort of air"

4. "What we have here is an ethical dilemma/'Less I help him get the mask removed/He doesn't have a prayer/True the gun as never fired/But the way events transpired/I could finish him with simple laissez faire"

5. "He'd go out every night trying to find himself/and along the way he found Ruth, Rosemary, Gladys, and IRVING/I guess you could say we broke up because of artistic differences/he saw himself as alive/and I saw him dead."

6. "Down once more to the dungeon of my black despair/down we plunge to the prison of my mind"

7. "Did you ever laugh when a waitress falls/and drops a tray of glasses/"
"And ain't it fun to watch figure skaters/falling on their asses?"
"Don't you feel all warm and cozy/watching people out in the rain"
"That's schaudenfreude/people taking pleasure in your pain"

8. "I have confidence in sunshine/I have confidence in rain/I have confidence that spring will come again/besides which you see/I have confidence in me!"

9. "Prove to me that you're no fool/walk across my swimming pool/if you do that for me/then I'll let you go free"

10. "Find - Glory/one last refrain/glory/from a pretty boy frontman/who wasted opportunity"

11. "Tonight, tonight/it all began tonight/I saw you and the world went away/tonight, tonight/it's only you tonight/who you are/what you do/what you say"

12. "Macavity's a mystery cat/he's called the hidden paw/for he's the master criminal/who can defy the law/he's the bafflement of Scotland Yard/the Flying Squad's despair/cuz whatever time the deed took place/Macavity wasn't there"

13. "Mama/Doesn't even have an inkling/That I'm working in a Nightclub/In a pair of Lacy pants."

14. "Shan't I have the normal life a maiden should?/Shall I never be rescued in the wood?/Shall two knights never tilt for me/and let their blood be spilt for me?/Oh where are the simple joys of maidenhood?"

Gearing Up

Not only is unborn spawnling already "dropped" into my pelvis (and yes, I do look like a ridiculous penguin when I walk now), I am having braxton-hicks contractions from hell tonight. I just drank a ton of water and now I'm going to bed. Freyja never did drop at all and I don't remember having any BH with her.

Maybe she'll come around 38 weeks. That'd be fantastic except we're not quite ready yet. The crib is still a toddler bed, we haven't gotten the new carseat, we haven't gotten the bassinet and swing out yet, etc.

Oh, and she's still nameless. I'm still stuck on what you name the sister of a Freyja. It has to have either no nickname possibilities or EXCELLENT nickname possibilities. Persephone is right out, Percy is the only decent nickname there and I don't like it. Athena is too severe. Isis too dippy. Minerva = Minnie. UGH. Artemis has potential, but I dislike "Missy" and "Misty" and "Arty" as nicknames. Sif is too weird, I don't like Iduna, and the Celtic goddess names are all WAY overused (Rhiannon, Brigid, and yes, I've met 2 or 3 Morrigans in the area) except for Bronwyn which is too guttural when put with Heather as a middle name and our last name.

I kind of like Lakshmi, but can you get away with naming a likely towheaded, blue eyed German/Swedish child Lakshmi? I'm not sure you can.

My House Smells Fabulous!

There's a big stockpot of chicken soup bubbling away on the stove. We don't fuss around with chicken soup here - this isn't some pop open a can of chicken broth and add a few veggies kind of a thing. Oh, no.

There are caramelized onions and garlic. Then we saute the carrots and celery to bring out the flavors. Add ten chicken legs (no skin, please) and fill up the stockpot with water 2" from the top. Add a bay leaf or two, and then cook the hell out of it all afternoon until the liquid is reduced by at least a third (yes, children, a third. you want to concentrate the flavors). Then fish the chicken bones out (since it all fell apart on you), add fresh or dried herbs (I like thyme, dill, and rosemary) and your choice of noodles or pasta and cook until the noodles are done.

Eat. Eat a lot. Then freeze the leftovers in gallon ziplock bags, enough to feed the family for one dinner in each.

Someone told me once that I was making chicken stock and furthermore, "doing it wrong" (ie, you don't let the water evaporate, bla bla bla). They've never tasted my soup, so I can see where they might be confused. I agree that the chicken and veggies strained out, this would be fantastic chicken stock. But why add the extra step of taking the veggies out and then putting different ones back in? The carrots are sliced thick and so is the celery, so nobody's ever complained about the texture of the veggies. You should try it my way. It's really good.

Just make sure you caramelize the onions first. If you skip that, it's not nearly as yummy.

Friends Pimping Friends...

Eden has a fun movie quote meme going on today. You should go over and play!

Why'm I not Surprised?

Do you have an inclination for BDSM? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Dominant (((Note: This quiz doesn't cover all aspects of BDSM due to the length that such a comprehensive quiz would be. I chose to keep it sex-based because the psychological reasons behind fetishes are complex and different for everyone to some degree.))) Sex is about power and you like to be powerful. It's nice to be in charge and get what you want. And being in a position where people will do what you say is exciting. Sadist 89% Dominant 89% Experimental 75% Exhibitionist / Voyeur 71% Bondage 36% Switch 36% Masochist 25% Submissive 14% Vanilla 14% Degradation Lover 11%

Fiction F**k List

I nabbed this one off Livejournal today (where I do my Potter fandom blogging) - thought it looked like fun

List ten fictional characters you would have sex with (in no particular order) and tag five people to do the same, if you like.

1. Aragorn, from The Lord of The Rings

2. Teddy Laurence, from Little Women, Little Men, Jo's Boys (I get why Jo turned him down, but I'd still do him)

3. Edward Cullen, from the Twilight trilogy

4. F'nor, from the Pern books

5. Fiyero, from Wicked

6. Bruce Wayne

7. Perrin Aybara, from the Wheel of Time

8. Galahad, from Heinlein's works

9. Remus Lupin, from Harry Potter. I'd say Snape, but see #10 instead - close enough.

10. Mr Rochester, from Jane Eyre

Blogroll

I did some overdue weeding and correcting of links. If you stop by and you're not on the blogroll, chalk it up to my laziness. It's certainly not because I don't like you.

Tuna Salad

I had a tuna sub for dinner last night and at least two tuna sandwiches for lunch earlier in the week.
It is just about the only protein source that seems at all appealing right now. I can taste it just thinking about it. Turkey smells bad to me right now, roast beef tastes like sawdust, ham is too watery and I've eaten so much freaking peanut butter this pregnancy that just looking at a jar of it makes me groan. I hate eggs, so I don't have any recourse there.

Unfortunately "they" want preggos to limit tuna to 1-2 servings a week and I've gone over that already.

I'm also craving chips and onion dip, but genius hubby only bought flavored chips. You can't dip those, not in onion dip. I may have to get dressed and run to the store.

Pie, and other musings

I was just blindsided by a sudden and severe craving for piecrust. Baked, of course. I couldn't tell you what kind of filling I might like in the piecrust. Cherry might be good, or peach. Since I'm still able to for a few more weeks, I'll blame it on pregnancy.

I haven't been blogging because I've been emotionally overwhelmed. I haven't mentioned it to my midwife yet because they seem to be more concerned about flipping out over my blood pressure/blood sugar/mucus than anything else and sending me off to waste entire afternoons at L&D for what ends up being nothing. Better safe than sorry. I just keep seeing it all as a concerted effort to prevent me from being able to VBAC. Paranoid much? Probably. The only provider not flipping out over one thing or another involving me at that office is their supervising obstetrician. I saw him last week for a "just in case" surgical consult (in case the unthinkable happens and I need a c-section before my due date). He reiterated that I'm an excellent VBAC candidate and expressed his dismay that his hospital doesn't allow VBAC but he understands and wishes me the best of luck. The midwives seem to be like "uh, you have this problem...let's pursue it to death..."

Anyway, emotionally overwhelmed. Freyja is mouthy, bratty, defiant, and really difficult to deal with right now. She is making me doubt my parenting and I keep wondering just what business I have with having a second child when the first one is such a hellion. I keep hearing it's because she's three and a half. I doubt that her turning four will magically make all of her naughtiness go away. She doesn't want a baby. She doesn't want a baby sister. I know a lot of this is completely normal. I'm really glad that she developed a strong bond with Kerwin at a very young age, because I know that will help when I don't have as much time to spend with her since I'll be busy with the baby - she'll still have daddy without much interruption.

I'm 34 weeks tomorrow. I'm to the point where I'm up to pee 3 times a night again, and then waking up every hour to turn over or adjust position.

So, in 4-8 weeks, it'll be baby time. I keep waiting for nesting to kick in, but all I want to do with my spare time is sleep, still.

Support Your Candidates

You can't see the shirt too well, but it says "Potter/Weasley '08"

Lo and Behold

Kerwin and I are going away for the night tomorrow.

That's right, we're going to go stay in a hotel. By ourselves. Wink, wink. With no three year old to wake up, wander in, or interrupt anything.

Freyja is going to Grandma's and is rather cross about the entire thing. Why do mommy and daddy get to go stay in the hotel and swim in the pool by themselves? It's not fair!

She should be happy we're letting her go out to dinner with us beforehand. My dad asked where I'd like to go for dinner (thanks for taking us all out, dad!) and I thought about it for two seconds in which I compared favorite food with food I am able to eat right now (boo, gestational diabetes) and said, "Mongolian BBQ!"

Ah yes. All you can eat stir-fry, then a night alone with my lovely hubby.

Turning 27 is going to be a good time.

Happy Birthday To Me, Happy Birthday To Me...

- March 7 -
You are kind hearted and very friendly. You love attention, and you are always daydreaming in your own world. People gravitate towards you.
Positive Traits: intelligent, ethical, analytical, photographic memory, intuitive
Negative Traits: overly introverted, eccentric, uncommunicative, selfishness, cynicism
'What does your Birthdate mean?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Bow-chicka-bow-bow

That was fun...

Sort of.

My friend (who started out as "just" Freyja's daycare provider - but after two years we've progressed to friends) went to Florida this week. She asked me if I would keep her home daycare open while she went. I agreed, especially since there was money involved. We like extra cash when we can get it. Most of the parents know me since she has no turnover. We found her almost right after she opened two years ago and she still has the same kids - nobody has left except one family who moved.

It wasn't too bad. The worst part was my own kid acting up because she seemed to think that because it was her mommy there, she didn't need to follow the rules. The thirty-pound moose of a ten month old wasn't a picnic either, but just because it was heck to heft him all over. He's a very sweet and happy baby otherwise.

The rest of the kids are all ages 2-4. They play nicely together and they all still take nice long afternoon naps. They scrap once in a while, but it's easily mended. No real problems there.

What I didn't count on was getting a hellacious head cold over the weekend that stuck with me all week - coughing, sneezing, not sleeping well. I'm pretty tired today, and looking forward to a nice, relaxing weekend with just my own little monkey to look after.

As If Being Sick Wasn't Enough

I had to call Poison Control this evening at my folks'.

My mom left the bottle of cough/cold medicine out on the counter, and Freyja decided she had a headache and would help herself to it. Somehow she managed to remove a child-proof top and administered herself an unknown amount, but less than 2 ounces, of Triaminic Nighttime Cough and Cold medicine while the rest of us were in the living room. As far as I knew, she went out to the kitchen to get a drink from her cup of water that was out there and came back 30 seconds later saying "I took three medicines."

The lovely calm woman on the other end of the line did some calculations for me and said we probably have nothing to worry about, told me how she'd probably behave, and said she'd call back in about four hours to see how we were doing (that part, she said, is protocol).

Well, Freyja acted spot on to what the call center woman said - she sucked down about 24 oz of water, ate some dinner, got mouthy and belligerent, and then fell asleep on the ride home.

The woman did indeed call back, Freyja is still sleeping but had given Kerwin a hard time when she roused and he was sitting near her (the nerve!) on the couch. That was a good sign. She's responsive, if I tickle her nose with her hair she brushes it away.

The only two times I've had to call poison control is b/c it didn't cross anybody's mind there (including mine) to marginally childproof their kitchen. I'm not talking bumpers on everything, I'm talking cupboard locks on undersink cabinets and making sure to put medicine WAY up out of reach. Basic safeguards, because as much as you'd like not to, sometimes you have to look away from a child.

The first time she poured a bunch of jet dry out and ended up with minor chemical burns on her knees. I don't even remember what I was doing then - I was probably in the bathroom. My mom is overly sensitive and when I mentioned this there were tears and drama, and I was "blaming" her for everything. The locks should have been installed on the old cabinets then. I should have done it myself. It still wouldn't have helped today, though.

Well, there will be cabinet locks installed the next time I'm over there as a precaution. They should have been done when the new cabinets were put in. I know that this is mostly my fault, I should be more vigilant about making sure there's nothing potentially dangerous sitting out on the counters there. I feel like a failure as a parent. I know things like this happen, but apparently I now need to be up Freyja's butt 24/7, at least over there.

But I'd also like to know how in hell my 3 year old managed to open a freakin childproof bottle. I can't even manage to open them all of the time.

Six Words Meme

I saw this over at momvoyage

Originally, it belonged to this blogger

Since detours are my way of life, I shall just say if you'd like to do this, please do!

1. Write your own six word memoir

2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like

3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post and to this original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere

4 .Tag five more blogs with links

5. And don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!


This side road looks like fun...

Searchy, Searchy - PSA Edition

Good morning, chickadees! There were some good searches on the sitemeter log this morning. Enough that I needed a PSA edition of "Searchy, Searchy".

PSA #1

S**********, MD G****** DBA V******** FAMILY CARE in Florida (asterisks added to protect MY ass), if your ISP lists your name connected to your IP, be careful what you're searching for at work, because I can see you!

Either way, I doubt that googling for "fat chicks in bathing suits" is a good use of company time nor does it give me much hope as to how compassionate of a doctor you are. Gives me a great indication if how your office would probably treat me if I came in with any kind of ailment, though - "Lose weight. You won't have headaches/backaches/allergies/sore throats/carpal tunnel anymore then."

Or maybe you just have a fetish. In any case, I'd check with your ISP about removing your name and business name from public IP listings.

PSA #2

Verizon.net user from Boston searches for "how do I claim my americorps stipend".

I have to guess this means on your taxes? Did you get a W-2 form? You claim it as earned income. To confuse you further, on your taxes and on the FAFSA are the only places you would claim your Americorps stipend as earned income. If you need to apply for food stamps, daycare aid, etc your stipend does not count against you - it does for Medicaid, though. Don't ask me why, I don't understand the federal government either.

She Must Be Sick...

Because this afternoon nap thing just doesn't happen around here.

Whew!

I just spent half an hour clearing out 3000 emails from my gmail account.

Yes, scads of storage is a lovely thing, but it also keeps me from keeping things tidy in there.

Valentine's Day

It's not a day we go all out for.

I did buy Freyja an adorable Ariel hair bow, since she's just the tiniest bit obsessed with the Titian-haired mermaid.

DH is getting a more adult oriented treat - after all, the day after is the Lupercalia, an ancient Roman fertility festival (also commemorates the founding of Rome). Why not celebrate both?

As for me, DH is pretty good at buying presents that really communicate "I love you for who you are, not who the diamond ads say you should be."

That's right, chickadees. I get video games. Two years ago we got a crazy huge tax return and he came through with a Game Boy Advance SP. That was lovely. I still use it frequently. This year it was Kingdom Hearts II. I did ask for Lego Star Wars, but apparently it's nowhere to be found.

He could buy me jewelry, I suppose. And it'd just sit there unworn. Video games, however, get lots of use. As would lingerie, but I prefer to pick that out myself and consider that more a present for HIM than the other way around.

Dogs Can't Have Chocolate...

Apparently the idiots who make the Raggs show for PBS didn't do their research. Today's show is about eating "healthy" food. One of the characters ate *gasp* COOKIES for breakfast and CHOCOLATE too - so he didn't have any energy for playing! The funny part is that it was the stoner dog...anyway...

Apparently the giant annoying anthropomorphic dogs LOVE chocolate - but chocolate is "bad" for you, it's not "healthy". Well, it's not healthy for dogs in any case!

Really? They love it so much they're willing to DIE if they eat it?

Freyja caught this before I did. "Mommy! Those dogs are saying they like chocolate! Chocolate is BAD for doggies! If we gave doggies chocolate, they would DIE!"

Damn straight, that's my smart girl.

You Have Fail!

I "failed" my one hour gestational diabetes test.

So I get to waste an entire morning doing the 3 hour one. That means I have to get up at 5:30, drive my husband to work, entertain my overtired 3 year old for 3+ hours in the doctor's office and hope I don't faint or puke before I can get somewhere to eat real food afterward.

Unless I can manage to do this on a Monday or a Friday, then she can go to daycare while I do the test. I'll still have to get up at the arsecrack of dawn, though.

I know my health is important. But the way hubby's schedule works and the way my MW office works does not mesh well. He works 10 days on, 4 off. And the 4 off were LAST week.

His car needs work. Again. After I spent $400 on it, it just sits there in the driveway going nowhere, making it impossible to do anything during the day when he's working.

And all I ever do here anymore is bitch. I need a hobby.

Searchy, Searchy

my appearance postpartum
you're not going to look perfect right away. It took nine months to put it on, give yourself at least nine months to get back to physical normalcy. Don't be surprised if mental and sexual normalcy takes double to triple that time.

I hate team building
It's not my favorite thing, either. Icebreakers will never be anything BUT cheesy.

I hate americorps
Of course you do. You're paid for shit and every time you try to do something that will help people your site supervisor or program director shoots you down. Or maybe you don't want to help people at all and you joined because you wanted an easy paycheck. Either way, it's your attitude that makes the difference.

michigan sexy dresses
do you mean sexy dresses made in Michigan? Or sexy dresses on women in Michigan? I admit to being a bit confused.

pictures fat chicks in bathing suits
you're either some kind of perv or some kind of idiot looking to mock people. Or you could just like fat chicks, what do I know? I'm betting on the first or second though. In any case, you're not going to find any pictures of my fat ass in a bathing suit here, and it's creeping me out that this EXACT search string has been linked to me several times in the past few days. I do have your IP logged, verizon.net user from Hopkins, Michigan. There's no pictures of me in my bathing suit here. Nor will there ever be. Now go away.

best low maintenance haircut for busy moms
may I recommend the cut I have? It comes to the middle of my neck and has nice stacked layers that give it bounce. It looks great no matter if I just let it dry after combing or use the hair dryer and a little volumising cream.

Funny Freyja

Child just bonked her head against a bookshelf, sat down, and burst out crying,

"IT's OKAY! I'm OKAY!"

Bawling her head off.

Hubby is home, so he's comforting her - just so you don't think I'm all heartless. :D

Your Attention Please...

So. We had our other ultrasound. Thankfully the baby was very cooperative. The tech got pictures of everything they needed without any trouble at all, which was great! We also got a nice, clear gender shot.

It's a girl.

Yes, there are a lack of exclamation points there. I already have a girl, and she's quite marvelous. People tell me that I will "love" having two little girls, and I suppose at some point I will. Then other people talk about the "special" bond they have with their little boy, and how it's "different" yet "different" seems to mean "better" in this context.

Apparently it's wrong of me to be slightly disappointed about this. After all, my husband is happy that the baby is healthy. He's thrilled to have another little girl. He has no overarching desire to prove his maleness with a son and "heir". I should just be happy that the baby is healthy. It's wrong to want a specific gender. Just another one of those things mothers aren't allowed to have any negative feelings about.

Hey, at least I'll save some money. I already have all kinds of girl clothes.

Holy Snowstorm, Batman!

My GOODNESS.

A drive that normally takes 20 minutes or so in good weather took about an hour tonight. That was on the highway. I can't begin to think how long it might have taken on the back roads.

You see, instead of sending the plows out the moment there's 2-3 inches of snow on the ground, the idiot road commissions in our area wait. I don't know how they decide, but I'd guess this is close:

"Wal now, Bert, d'ya think we should send the plows out now?"
"I dunno, Jim. I got that four-wheel drive and I'm not going to have any trouble getting through this snow."
"Whut about them folks with them tiny little economy cars?"
"Wal, shoot, Jim. That's their fault, ain't it, for not having the right kind of vee-hickle for this sort of a climate? Waste of time and gas sending these here plows out. Just not in the public innerest."

Then they wonder why there are so many slide-offs and accidents during the next morning's rush hour.

As someone with a tiny little economy car, the county road commissions can kiss my butt. We have to deal with 2-3 of them on a daily basis because of the odd location we live in.

The maintenance woman in our trailer park also thinks she doesn't have to plow in the park on the weekends. The crap we had to gun our little tiny Prism through this past weekend was just atrocious. Guess what, lady? You raised my lot rent AGAIN. You can get your ass out of bed and plow my road.

Oh, and Happy Birthday to my mom. Love you mom!

VBAC Consult

I was very pleasantly surprised. My assigned OB is a 4th year resident. She reminds me a lot of one of the docs I used to "work" with at the clinic where I did my AmeriCorps service.

She was very up front about what exactly I can expect, answered all of my questions without waffling or "maybe" or "we'll see". She said "This will happen, this will happen, this will happen, but beyond that, it's all up to you." So, I signed the consent forms and we're now officially planning a VBAC. The hospital seems to be very progressive as far as natural birth goes. None of the residents being trained do routine episiotomies, my OB at least will catch in any position I want to be in, and I was encouraged to use things like a birth ball, the shower and the tub. Excellent!

They don't use any ripening agents for VBAC's (very good) and will only use pitocin if a pressure catheter shows that contractions just aren't doing the work they should. Those are both very good things.

The only sucky part is that my blood pressure was REALLY high while we were there. They checked it twice. She ordered some blood work and I have to keep my pee for 24 hours to check for protein spilling in it. I am going to puke soooo much, just thinking about that makes me nauseous. Better safe than sorry, though.

Slacker!

Totally.

There just hasn't been much going on here to blog about. Life goes on. I have my VBAC consultation on Monday, which I hope goes well. I have a very long list of questions to ask the OB. I hope I don't scare him. I've done my research.

I am getting another ultrasound. It seems that idiot midwife missed the part that said "FOLLOW UP RECOMMENDED" on the report. Marvelous midwife did notice it, however - but only after I asked about the gender and then cried. I didn't intend to cry, but hormones got in the way.

So, that will be on February 4th - a week from Monday. Hopefully baby will cooperate and we'll get the money shot.

Freyja has gone from "If it's a boy, I am running away to live at Grandma's" to "NO, I don't want a GIRL baby, I only like BOY babies."

Gut feeling still says boy. Gut feeling was accurate for Freyja, so we'll see how well mother's intuition plays out this time. Frankly, I hope it's a boy because we decided on a boy name already. Girls names are still up in the air - we have three we both love, and we would probably have to have the baby first and see what name fits her the best.

Hmmm

How the heck is this baby all up in my ribcage already? I'm only 24 weeks. I should have known things were expanding further in there from the heartburn I've had the past few nights.

Brush Up Your Shakespeare

Oooh, I AM as pretentious as I feel...hee hee :)

Sour Grapes

Because one of the midwives in the practice couldn't find the baby's heartbeat at my 18 week appt, she sent me for an ultrasound "just in case".

What she neglected to mention was that this was going to be the "big" ultrasound. You know, the one where they check the spine, and the organs, and the GENDER.

So I didn't ask. I figured I'd get another one in a couple weeks.

Ha. No. No ultrasounds to be had here. They flat-out REFUSE to order another one. "Oh, you'll just have to wait, just like the old days! Hee hee, won't that be nice?" And the other preggos on boards I visit who are due around the same time are all having THEIR "big" ultrasounds. I find myself unwilling to congratulate them because really I want to be jealous and petty and say "you bitch" - even though it isn't anyone's fault but the midwife.

I know it's not a life-changing thing. We know the baby is healthy, and that's what matters.

Yeah, fuck that. I want to know what I'm having. Medical technology affords me that, and I'm not being permitted to access it. I can't get anything ready, I only have enough gender neutral things to last the first couple months, IF that.

Why does it feel so wrong to be upset about this? It seems like such a small thing, but it isn't, not to me.

Dizzy

The past two times I've been up and about doing any significant amount of walking, I have gotten lightheaded and dizzy and almost fainted. The first time I thought that maybe my blood sugar was really low. This time I ate dinner right before I went to the store - sausage, potatoes, green beans; pretty balanced, and it happened again. I was able to sit down for a few minutes and I was OK again.

I think I'll be fine waiting until Monday to call. Hubby thought I might need to call the emergency line. I don't really know what he thinks they can do except have me go into the ER or something, which I can't do anyway because he's at work and I have Freyja at home with me.

The baby is very active tonight, kicking and rolling and doing lots of moving around.

Ow?

I have a zit on my bum. I realize this happens from time to time. However, it is one of those nasty bright red, hard and hot ones. You know, the sort that are nigh impossible to pop so I can put myself out of my misery?

And it hurts to sit on a hard surface.

Why, at a time when the skin on my face looks relatively fabulous, has the skin on my bum gone haywire?

And to add insult to injury, the underwire just popped on the last bra I have that fits. The rest are all too small in the cups or have sustained similar underwire injuries.

I am going to fucking cry now. When you have boobs as big as mine, bras are not cheap nor plentiful. And I have no money.

The Family's Peculiar Aristocratic Titles

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Her Grace Lady Heather the Perplexed of Hope End Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Baron Kerwin the Loquacious of Waterless St Mildred Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Entirely Miss Reverend Lady Freyja the Implacable of Piddletrenthide on the Carpet Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title