Searchy, Searchy - PSA Edition

Good morning, chickadees! There were some good searches on the sitemeter log this morning. Enough that I needed a PSA edition of "Searchy, Searchy".

PSA #1

S**********, MD G****** DBA V******** FAMILY CARE in Florida (asterisks added to protect MY ass), if your ISP lists your name connected to your IP, be careful what you're searching for at work, because I can see you!

Either way, I doubt that googling for "fat chicks in bathing suits" is a good use of company time nor does it give me much hope as to how compassionate of a doctor you are. Gives me a great indication if how your office would probably treat me if I came in with any kind of ailment, though - "Lose weight. You won't have headaches/backaches/allergies/sore throats/carpal tunnel anymore then."

Or maybe you just have a fetish. In any case, I'd check with your ISP about removing your name and business name from public IP listings.

PSA #2

Verizon.net user from Boston searches for "how do I claim my americorps stipend".

I have to guess this means on your taxes? Did you get a W-2 form? You claim it as earned income. To confuse you further, on your taxes and on the FAFSA are the only places you would claim your Americorps stipend as earned income. If you need to apply for food stamps, daycare aid, etc your stipend does not count against you - it does for Medicaid, though. Don't ask me why, I don't understand the federal government either.

Searchy, Searchy

my appearance postpartum
you're not going to look perfect right away. It took nine months to put it on, give yourself at least nine months to get back to physical normalcy. Don't be surprised if mental and sexual normalcy takes double to triple that time.

I hate team building
It's not my favorite thing, either. Icebreakers will never be anything BUT cheesy.

I hate americorps
Of course you do. You're paid for shit and every time you try to do something that will help people your site supervisor or program director shoots you down. Or maybe you don't want to help people at all and you joined because you wanted an easy paycheck. Either way, it's your attitude that makes the difference.

michigan sexy dresses
do you mean sexy dresses made in Michigan? Or sexy dresses on women in Michigan? I admit to being a bit confused.

pictures fat chicks in bathing suits
you're either some kind of perv or some kind of idiot looking to mock people. Or you could just like fat chicks, what do I know? I'm betting on the first or second though. In any case, you're not going to find any pictures of my fat ass in a bathing suit here, and it's creeping me out that this EXACT search string has been linked to me several times in the past few days. I do have your IP logged, verizon.net user from Hopkins, Michigan. There's no pictures of me in my bathing suit here. Nor will there ever be. Now go away.

best low maintenance haircut for busy moms
may I recommend the cut I have? It comes to the middle of my neck and has nice stacked layers that give it bounce. It looks great no matter if I just let it dry after combing or use the hair dryer and a little volumising cream.

"AmeriCorps Sucks" "I hate AmeriCorps"

Let me guess.

You're "storming".

See, there's five stages in your AmeriCorps year - Forming, Storming, Norming, Performing, and Adjourning. This is from a guy called Bruce Tuckman who originally wrote it to have to do with team building - and every AmeriCorps member is part of at least one team.

It's really easy to get stuck at "storming". Trust me. I've been there. Your living stipend sucks, you spend all your time doing inane things when you really signed up to change the world, and your site supervisor/program director thinks you're a moron (or vice versa). The little things are really starting to get you down, and you're thinking about quitting.

Don't quit. You want that education stipend, and you won't get it if you quit. You also won't get the chance to challenge yourself, push your own boundaries, and really discover what you can do. Frustrated? Vent. Call your program director and tell them what's on your mind. Start your own blog. Vent to me here - I'd love to hear your frustrations. What you're feeling is completely normal and part of the process.

I'm telling you from my perspective as a second-year member - it's worth it. Stick it out. If you've quit everything else you've ever tried, stick it out. If you're so broke you're looking for coins in the couch cushions to buy a loaf of bread, stick it out. You CAN get through - and you WILL be proud of yourself. You deserve it. See your year through.

ETA (4/8/09) Some of the comments have expressed a desire for a forum. 

http://theserviceexperience.yuku.com

Searchy, Searchy (again)

Today's batch is a little more sobering.

you're on notice meme (did you find it? funny stuff!)
owen meany sucks reviews (still haven't read it)
depression and crazy thoughts (I hope you found something that helped you. If not, come back and let me know - I'm crazy too, maybe we can help each other)
IUGR and blog rings (since my diagnosis was false, can't help you there)
CPS I AM GOING TO TAKE MY BABY (can't help you there, either)
glorious hair (my hair is pretty great!)
Absentee Husbands - where did he go (I wonder that every time mine doesn't call)
DO IUGR BABIES SURVIVE AT 34 WEEKS (usually - if your placenta has ceased to function, better out than in. Isolettes are marvelous technology and I hope your baby is doing fine)

Searchy, Searchy

What People are Searching For:

nccc americorps sucks
kinky "muskegon"
youe tube porn
sampoo formula]
crunchy mammas
spaghetti makes me full
burger bell
ob says cervix is fingertip and hard
KERWIN - MICHIGAN - MYSPACE (this is kind of freaky - I wonder who's searching for my husband? Own up, Internet Ho!)