Thursday, December 28, 2006

I am in a MOOD.

Self indulgent ranting to follow. You HAVE been warned.

OMF the title just says it all. I am sooooooo bitchy, short tempered, and just unable to continue dealing with the shit that keeps piling up for me to wade through.

Work is treating me like a low-wage data entry office slave instead of allowing me to do what I'm supposed to (community outreach/patient outreach/patient goal self management) as an AmeriCorps member. I have calls in to higher ups about that, but in the meantime, it's toil, toil, toil.

We have two cars. One is sitting unused because it needs new fuel injectors (at least that is the theory) and DH refuses to get it towed to a shop to get an estimate, much less get the work done. I am going to have to do it because he claims he doens't have TIME (yet I also work 40+ hours a week, and I'm supposed to have time?!)

The other one is experiencing engine noise after we neglected to ever check the oil and it ran mostly dry (DH gets gas the majority of the time but somehow refuses to check the oil or take responsiblility for it, I have to do it because he WON'T (step up and be a man. fuck!) and I forget because I have bad short term memory, which isn't a much better excuse), two repair shops said no point in bothering, it's just going to die at some point soon, unless I want to replace the engine. Dude, I paid less that $1000 for the car and it has 214,000 miles on it. I am not putting a new engine in it.

We have shitty credit and no savings cushion, like most of America's working poor. We live 20 miles out of town and MUST have at least one vehicle.

DH refuses to look for a different/better job (I can't, I am locked into my contract for another nine months - if I quit, I lose close to $5,000 for college expenses and I could be barred from any federal service jobs for life) to help the monetary situation, because he thinks he can't get anything better than being the front desk monkey at Best Buy - we live in Michigan (unemployment capital of the USA!!) and he doens't quite have an associate's degree, so that may be true, but he doesn't even try.

I'm going to therapy but it stresses me out because it's expensive even with insurance ($32 a session, every 2 weeks). It helps, but it's expensive. I want to go back on Zoloft but can't afford it since I don't get any prescription coverage.

Oh, and I'm going on week 13 of AF being absent. Every weeks' dollar store pee test says negative, though. I am probably too fat for my body to work properly.

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading. If you see the lottery fairy, send her my way and tell her to shake a damn leg.


karrie said...

Ugh. I remember being dependent on a car--usually some POS that I paid $500 for. So stressful.

We really should have better public transportation in this country.

Can you score some samples of Zoloft?

thordora said...

SO glad we don't have to worry about cars.

However, we're both in call centers, and while I have a salaried, ok job, I'm terrified of losing it, since the husband is the phone equivilent of a desk jockey.

Feel better.

kassie said...

Hi Heather I hope you dont mind the intrusion to your blog. I am new and trying to make friends.

I'm sorry things are rough, I can totally sympathize. I work in health care and currently am supporting 4 people on my paycheck.

I hope things get easier for you.