Friday, February 29, 2008

That was fun...

Sort of.

My friend (who started out as "just" Freyja's daycare provider - but after two years we've progressed to friends) went to Florida this week. She asked me if I would keep her home daycare open while she went. I agreed, especially since there was money involved. We like extra cash when we can get it. Most of the parents know me since she has no turnover. We found her almost right after she opened two years ago and she still has the same kids - nobody has left except one family who moved.

It wasn't too bad. The worst part was my own kid acting up because she seemed to think that because it was her mommy there, she didn't need to follow the rules. The thirty-pound moose of a ten month old wasn't a picnic either, but just because it was heck to heft him all over. He's a very sweet and happy baby otherwise.

The rest of the kids are all ages 2-4. They play nicely together and they all still take nice long afternoon naps. They scrap once in a while, but it's easily mended. No real problems there.

What I didn't count on was getting a hellacious head cold over the weekend that stuck with me all week - coughing, sneezing, not sleeping well. I'm pretty tired today, and looking forward to a nice, relaxing weekend with just my own little monkey to look after.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

As If Being Sick Wasn't Enough

I had to call Poison Control this evening at my folks'.

My mom left the bottle of cough/cold medicine out on the counter, and Freyja decided she had a headache and would help herself to it. Somehow she managed to remove a child-proof top and administered herself an unknown amount, but less than 2 ounces, of Triaminic Nighttime Cough and Cold medicine while the rest of us were in the living room. As far as I knew, she went out to the kitchen to get a drink from her cup of water that was out there and came back 30 seconds later saying "I took three medicines."

The lovely calm woman on the other end of the line did some calculations for me and said we probably have nothing to worry about, told me how she'd probably behave, and said she'd call back in about four hours to see how we were doing (that part, she said, is protocol).

Well, Freyja acted spot on to what the call center woman said - she sucked down about 24 oz of water, ate some dinner, got mouthy and belligerent, and then fell asleep on the ride home.

The woman did indeed call back, Freyja is still sleeping but had given Kerwin a hard time when she roused and he was sitting near her (the nerve!) on the couch. That was a good sign. She's responsive, if I tickle her nose with her hair she brushes it away.

The only two times I've had to call poison control is b/c it didn't cross anybody's mind there (including mine) to marginally childproof their kitchen. I'm not talking bumpers on everything, I'm talking cupboard locks on undersink cabinets and making sure to put medicine WAY up out of reach. Basic safeguards, because as much as you'd like not to, sometimes you have to look away from a child.

The first time she poured a bunch of jet dry out and ended up with minor chemical burns on her knees. I don't even remember what I was doing then - I was probably in the bathroom. My mom is overly sensitive and when I mentioned this there were tears and drama, and I was "blaming" her for everything. The locks should have been installed on the old cabinets then. I should have done it myself. It still wouldn't have helped today, though.

Well, there will be cabinet locks installed the next time I'm over there as a precaution. They should have been done when the new cabinets were put in. I know that this is mostly my fault, I should be more vigilant about making sure there's nothing potentially dangerous sitting out on the counters there. I feel like a failure as a parent. I know things like this happen, but apparently I now need to be up Freyja's butt 24/7, at least over there.

But I'd also like to know how in hell my 3 year old managed to open a freakin childproof bottle. I can't even manage to open them all of the time.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Six Words Meme

I saw this over at momvoyage

Originally, it belonged to this blogger

Since detours are my way of life, I shall just say if you'd like to do this, please do!

1. Write your own six word memoir

2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like

3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post and to this original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere

4 .Tag five more blogs with links

5. And don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!

This side road looks like fun...

Searchy, Searchy - PSA Edition

Good morning, chickadees! There were some good searches on the sitemeter log this morning. Enough that I needed a PSA edition of "Searchy, Searchy".

PSA #1

S**********, MD G****** DBA V******** FAMILY CARE in Florida (asterisks added to protect MY ass), if your ISP lists your name connected to your IP, be careful what you're searching for at work, because I can see you!

Either way, I doubt that googling for "fat chicks in bathing suits" is a good use of company time nor does it give me much hope as to how compassionate of a doctor you are. Gives me a great indication if how your office would probably treat me if I came in with any kind of ailment, though - "Lose weight. You won't have headaches/backaches/allergies/sore throats/carpal tunnel anymore then."

Or maybe you just have a fetish. In any case, I'd check with your ISP about removing your name and business name from public IP listings.

PSA #2 user from Boston searches for "how do I claim my americorps stipend".

I have to guess this means on your taxes? Did you get a W-2 form? You claim it as earned income. To confuse you further, on your taxes and on the FAFSA are the only places you would claim your Americorps stipend as earned income. If you need to apply for food stamps, daycare aid, etc your stipend does not count against you - it does for Medicaid, though. Don't ask me why, I don't understand the federal government either.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

She Must Be Sick...

Because this afternoon nap thing just doesn't happen around here.


Sunday, February 17, 2008


I just spent half an hour clearing out 3000 emails from my gmail account.

Yes, scads of storage is a lovely thing, but it also keeps me from keeping things tidy in there.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Valentine's Day

It's not a day we go all out for.

I did buy Freyja an adorable Ariel hair bow, since she's just the tiniest bit obsessed with the Titian-haired mermaid.

DH is getting a more adult oriented treat - after all, the day after is the Lupercalia, an ancient Roman fertility festival (also commemorates the founding of Rome). Why not celebrate both?

As for me, DH is pretty good at buying presents that really communicate "I love you for who you are, not who the diamond ads say you should be."

That's right, chickadees. I get video games. Two years ago we got a crazy huge tax return and he came through with a Game Boy Advance SP. That was lovely. I still use it frequently. This year it was Kingdom Hearts II. I did ask for Lego Star Wars, but apparently it's nowhere to be found.

He could buy me jewelry, I suppose. And it'd just sit there unworn. Video games, however, get lots of use. As would lingerie, but I prefer to pick that out myself and consider that more a present for HIM than the other way around.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Dogs Can't Have Chocolate...

Apparently the idiots who make the Raggs show for PBS didn't do their research. Today's show is about eating "healthy" food. One of the characters ate *gasp* COOKIES for breakfast and CHOCOLATE too - so he didn't have any energy for playing! The funny part is that it was the stoner dog...anyway...

Apparently the giant annoying anthropomorphic dogs LOVE chocolate - but chocolate is "bad" for you, it's not "healthy". Well, it's not healthy for dogs in any case!

Really? They love it so much they're willing to DIE if they eat it?

Freyja caught this before I did. "Mommy! Those dogs are saying they like chocolate! Chocolate is BAD for doggies! If we gave doggies chocolate, they would DIE!"

Damn straight, that's my smart girl.

You Have Fail!

I "failed" my one hour gestational diabetes test.

So I get to waste an entire morning doing the 3 hour one. That means I have to get up at 5:30, drive my husband to work, entertain my overtired 3 year old for 3+ hours in the doctor's office and hope I don't faint or puke before I can get somewhere to eat real food afterward.

Unless I can manage to do this on a Monday or a Friday, then she can go to daycare while I do the test. I'll still have to get up at the arsecrack of dawn, though.

I know my health is important. But the way hubby's schedule works and the way my MW office works does not mesh well. He works 10 days on, 4 off. And the 4 off were LAST week.

His car needs work. Again. After I spent $400 on it, it just sits there in the driveway going nowhere, making it impossible to do anything during the day when he's working.

And all I ever do here anymore is bitch. I need a hobby.

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Searchy, Searchy

my appearance postpartum
you're not going to look perfect right away. It took nine months to put it on, give yourself at least nine months to get back to physical normalcy. Don't be surprised if mental and sexual normalcy takes double to triple that time.

I hate team building
It's not my favorite thing, either. Icebreakers will never be anything BUT cheesy.

I hate americorps
Of course you do. You're paid for shit and every time you try to do something that will help people your site supervisor or program director shoots you down. Or maybe you don't want to help people at all and you joined because you wanted an easy paycheck. Either way, it's your attitude that makes the difference.

michigan sexy dresses
do you mean sexy dresses made in Michigan? Or sexy dresses on women in Michigan? I admit to being a bit confused.

pictures fat chicks in bathing suits
you're either some kind of perv or some kind of idiot looking to mock people. Or you could just like fat chicks, what do I know? I'm betting on the first or second though. In any case, you're not going to find any pictures of my fat ass in a bathing suit here, and it's creeping me out that this EXACT search string has been linked to me several times in the past few days. I do have your IP logged, user from Hopkins, Michigan. There's no pictures of me in my bathing suit here. Nor will there ever be. Now go away.

best low maintenance haircut for busy moms
may I recommend the cut I have? It comes to the middle of my neck and has nice stacked layers that give it bounce. It looks great no matter if I just let it dry after combing or use the hair dryer and a little volumising cream.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Funny Freyja

Child just bonked her head against a bookshelf, sat down, and burst out crying,

"IT's OKAY! I'm OKAY!"

Bawling her head off.

Hubby is home, so he's comforting her - just so you don't think I'm all heartless. :D

Your Attention Please...

So. We had our other ultrasound. Thankfully the baby was very cooperative. The tech got pictures of everything they needed without any trouble at all, which was great! We also got a nice, clear gender shot.

It's a girl.

Yes, there are a lack of exclamation points there. I already have a girl, and she's quite marvelous. People tell me that I will "love" having two little girls, and I suppose at some point I will. Then other people talk about the "special" bond they have with their little boy, and how it's "different" yet "different" seems to mean "better" in this context.

Apparently it's wrong of me to be slightly disappointed about this. After all, my husband is happy that the baby is healthy. He's thrilled to have another little girl. He has no overarching desire to prove his maleness with a son and "heir". I should just be happy that the baby is healthy. It's wrong to want a specific gender. Just another one of those things mothers aren't allowed to have any negative feelings about.

Hey, at least I'll save some money. I already have all kinds of girl clothes.

Friday, February 01, 2008

Holy Snowstorm, Batman!


A drive that normally takes 20 minutes or so in good weather took about an hour tonight. That was on the highway. I can't begin to think how long it might have taken on the back roads.

You see, instead of sending the plows out the moment there's 2-3 inches of snow on the ground, the idiot road commissions in our area wait. I don't know how they decide, but I'd guess this is close:

"Wal now, Bert, d'ya think we should send the plows out now?"
"I dunno, Jim. I got that four-wheel drive and I'm not going to have any trouble getting through this snow."
"Whut about them folks with them tiny little economy cars?"
"Wal, shoot, Jim. That's their fault, ain't it, for not having the right kind of vee-hickle for this sort of a climate? Waste of time and gas sending these here plows out. Just not in the public innerest."

Then they wonder why there are so many slide-offs and accidents during the next morning's rush hour.

As someone with a tiny little economy car, the county road commissions can kiss my butt. We have to deal with 2-3 of them on a daily basis because of the odd location we live in.

The maintenance woman in our trailer park also thinks she doesn't have to plow in the park on the weekends. The crap we had to gun our little tiny Prism through this past weekend was just atrocious. Guess what, lady? You raised my lot rent AGAIN. You can get your ass out of bed and plow my road.

Oh, and Happy Birthday to my mom. Love you mom!