Monday, July 30, 2007

Mah Outlook, it trix me...

What is this nonsense? Two appointments I've been an hour late for in the past week and had to reschedule, and all because Microsuck's Outlook seems to be having a little hissy fit and not leaving my appointments where I schedule them!

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Officially Crazy

According to the test I took; and upon confirmation that yes, it was pretty damn accurate, I now have two new diagnoses.

Axis I: Bipolar Disorder
Axis II: Avoidant Personality Disorder

Neither are really any surprise. The Bipolar, my therapist said, is "mild" but "not mild enough" to be cyclothymia.

I'm trying to cope. It's nice to know that I don't have to feel the way I've felt all my life, that there is something at least a little wrong, and with medication and therapy I have a good chance of fixing it. It also explains a lot about how I feel day-to-day.

On the other hand, I am now officially crazy. I have an appointment with my primary care doc to go over mood stabilizing medication options.

This is hard. I've spent the last ten or twelve years pretending there's absolutely nothing wrong with me. Now I have to learn to cope (better than I have been), but I'd rather just crawl into a hole and shut the world out for a while. This, unfortunately, is not possible.

I don't want to be a grown-up today.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

My True Nature, Let Me Show it to You.

From Eden via OK CUPID. Really, is anyone all that surprised? Now, does anybody knit or crochet? I need me a scarf. A wool or cotton one, not that nasty acrylic stuff. I'll pay!

Your Score: SLYTHERIN!

You scored 80% Slytherin, 12% Ravenclaw, 20% Gryffindor, and 20% Hufflepuff!

Or perhaps in Slytherin

You'll make your real friends,

These cunning folk use any means

To achieve their ends.

Slytherins are known for their ambition, guile, and Machiavellian sensibilities.

Link: The Sorting Hat Test written by leeannslytherin on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Friday, July 20, 2007

Potter Puppet Pals

For some reason, Freyja is now obsessed with all things Harry Potter. Of course, she doesn't quite "get" the movies yet but loves watching them and will happily sit through 8-10 pages of "Sorcerer's Stone" at a time. She thinks the Dursleys are funny. She loves the Hungarian Horntail. And like her mother before her, she's inexplicably drawn to Professor Snape.

I have a feeling that for my sweet almost three year old, that stems from the Potter Puppet Pals.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Note to Self

Must stop reading angsty, lusty Draco/Hermione and Severus/Hermione Harry Potter fanfic.

Even if it is (reasonably) well written.

Even if that pairing has the whole hatred/lust thing going for it.

It's naughty. Shame on me.


Friday, July 13, 2007


Freyja is away for the next two nights - she stayed with our DCP tonight and will stay with my mom tomorrow night. Kerwin had today and tomorrow off. I still have to work, but I can actually sleep without being kicked and elbowed by a two year old for the next two nights!

Tonight, we went a town over to browse in the shops and have a coffee. We were walking back to the car when Kerwin called a friend of ours, who happened to be at the bar across the street! It was dueling pianos night, so we stopped in for a drink and ended up staying almost three hours. So much fun - we NEVER do anything like this. I think we were overdue. I keep forgetting that we're not "old and married" - we can still have fun. It'd be fun for a MNO, too!

Monday, July 09, 2007

Do Want

I don't know how keen I am on the purple, but I love the style. But at $210, I think I'll pass.

Still looking for something to wear on Friday - it's the fifth anniversary of Kerwin's liberation from the "cult" and so we're going to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix at the Imax (3-d ending!) and then to Mongolian BBQ for dinner. Or maybe the other way around. I want to dress up like a nerd, so I'm on the lookout.

Monday, July 02, 2007


Before I get too far into the sertraline experience, I thought I should call my therapist and make an appointment. She wanted me to complete the Millon-III assessment back in February (my bad) and I never came in to do it. I actually picked up with phone without a huge amount of anxiety and made the call. This tells me the sertraline is starting to properly kick in (for those who have been following, my superpower is also back).

While I was poking around the internet looking for CPT codes for the assessment (so I could badger my insurance co. and see if it was covered), I came across the Myers-Briggs personality profile test again. I took it for the first time about eight years ago and scored very strongly as an iNFp. I took it again today, just for kicks. I've changed personality types, but not by much. I'm now an iNTp. The "T" (thinking rather than feeling) was only a margin of 1%, so I don't know how accurate that is. Apparently I should pursue a career in the natural sciences - and since I'm a geography major (this is my fifth, yes FIFTH major and the only one I've been completely happy with) that works out well. I don't put a huge amount of stock in an internet test anyway, but it's still a nice place to start.

In Conversation, She Spoke Just Like a Baroness

Kerwin, in his infinite geekitude, likes to make mix CD's. His latest effort is surprisingly good and fun. Concerned about the quality of music our spawn hears at daycare (they're not permitted to play anything interesting according to the state, so it's all kiddie crap) and wishing to not set her down the path of her Broadway-musical-loving mother, he has been working on a series: "A Brief Introduction to Rock and Roll". Volume one spans 1956-1974. It begins with Chuck Berry's "Maybelline" and ends with Pink Floyd's "Shine On You Crazy Diamond".

The songs that Freyja likes best are Elvis's "Return to Sender" (it's the guy! The singing guy from Lilo and Stitch, that's him, yeah?) and Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" (it's the fire song, Daddy! I LOVE this one!).

There's a discussion in the family (between Kerwin and my dad, who is a former radio DJ and station program manager and all-around audiophile) of whether "Ring of Fire" is really Rock and Roll or not. There are a few other songs on the album that they argue about as well.

He did screw up on a couple of the versions. 1958's "La Bamba" is the Los Lobos version, and not Richie Valens. 1957's "Great Balls of Fire" is not the standard version I'm used to hearing.

Yet - I find myself playing it in the car, eschewing "Wicked", "Avenue Q", "RENT" and "Into the Woods". It's a fun mix. And if I press the "back" button to hear "Killer Queen" two or three times - well, it's just because I wish I kept Moet et Chandon in a pretty cabinet.