Because one of the midwives in the practice couldn't find the baby's heartbeat at my 18 week appt, she sent me for an ultrasound "just in case".
What she neglected to mention was that this was going to be the "big" ultrasound. You know, the one where they check the spine, and the organs, and the GENDER.
So I didn't ask. I figured I'd get another one in a couple weeks.
Ha. No. No ultrasounds to be had here. They flat-out REFUSE to order another one. "Oh, you'll just have to wait, just like the old days! Hee hee, won't that be nice?" And the other preggos on boards I visit who are due around the same time are all having THEIR "big" ultrasounds. I find myself unwilling to congratulate them because really I want to be jealous and petty and say "you bitch" - even though it isn't anyone's fault but the midwife.
I know it's not a life-changing thing. We know the baby is healthy, and that's what matters.
Yeah, fuck that. I want to know what I'm having. Medical technology affords me that, and I'm not being permitted to access it. I can't get anything ready, I only have enough gender neutral things to last the first couple months, IF that.
Why does it feel so wrong to be upset about this? It seems like such a small thing, but it isn't, not to me.