I "had it out" with the husband last night.
I made a list while I was sitting here at work, fretting over what I think is wrong in our relationship. I didn't want to forget anything. It was a long list. I also had to make him understand that I'm guilty of perpetuating the bad things too.
So we talked, me strung out on half a glass of red wine (either the sulfites or the tannins do me in - it's never been this bad before, but that Chateau Ste. Michele 2002 Columbia Valley Merlot was hell) and crying in the recliner.
I didn't yell. This is new. He didn't yell. That's new, too. I think we got somewhere.
He's been acting strange lately. He's been less of a charming asshole. I like charming asshole, that's why I married him. I can't take the weird, passive-agressive thing he's been doing for the past few weeks. He mentioned he was trying to be a better husband by being less of an asshole.
He's less of an asshole when he's being an asshole. Does that make any sense? Charming asshole is his natural personality. When he's charming asshole, I can be bitchy queen bee and we get along famously. When he's trying to NOT be an asshole, he acts sullen and withdrawn, and I turn into caustic screamer. And nobody gets laid. It's not happy.
He was back to being a charming asshole this morning. Amen. Now we can make some progress on everything else.