Freyja came running down the hall, screaming her head off, "Mumma-mumma-mumma-mumma-mumma!!!" at about 5am this morning. Kerwin and I both jolted bolt upright and he grabbed her as she ran into our room. She was calling for me for once in the middle of the night and he grabbed her, soothed her, and took her out to rock in the chair.
My soul hurts today. My mommy-ness hurts today. For once, Freyja wanted ME over Kerwin - and he either ignored that or didn't think it was important. Have I done this? Did I make this monster by encouraging him to bond with her and care for her? Is this why she rejects me at every turn in favor of daddy? And is it wrong of me to be hurt and feel a little betrayed that instead of letting me comfort her, he took over without a thought?
I did say something this morning, and he claims he didn't hear her calling for me, or didn't realize that she was calling for anybody in particular. Why do I have to fail at everything I'm supposed to be good at as a female of the species?