Freyja came running down the hall, screaming her head off, "Mumma-mumma-mumma-mumma-mumma!!!" at about 5am this morning. Kerwin and I both jolted bolt upright and he grabbed her as she ran into our room. She was calling for me for once in the middle of the night and he grabbed her, soothed her, and took her out to rock in the chair.
My soul hurts today. My mommy-ness hurts today. For once, Freyja wanted ME over Kerwin - and he either ignored that or didn't think it was important. Have I done this? Did I make this monster by encouraging him to bond with her and care for her? Is this why she rejects me at every turn in favor of daddy? And is it wrong of me to be hurt and feel a little betrayed that instead of letting me comfort her, he took over without a thought?
I did say something this morning, and he claims he didn't hear her calling for me, or didn't realize that she was calling for anybody in particular. Why do I have to fail at everything I'm supposed to be good at as a female of the species?
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
March Is...
National Reading Month
Parenting Awareness Month
Nutrition Month
And a whole bunch of other months, too.
Parenting Awareness Month
Nutrition Month
And a whole bunch of other months, too.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Mutants
So Thordora asked about mutant freakiness for this month's Pulsate Olympics.
There's only one thing mutant-freaky about me, and it's TMI - so stop reading now if you don't want to know. I'm going to white it out, since my AmeriCorps program director has the address to this blog, and as cool of a guy as John is I don't think he really wants nor needs to know this. Those of you who want to read can highlight below for the fun.
My superpower is the ability to have multiple orgasms. Like Ol' Man River, they just keep rolling along. From whence this talent came I don't think I'll ever know. I first realized I was "abnormal" when my highschool boyfriend commented on it.
"Christ, you just don't stop, do you?"
He wasn't exactly the most tactful of boys, but he was GOOD with his hands. And I didn't know that not everybody had multiple orgasms as easily as breathing. This talent tended to either irk, annoy, or amuse the rest of my lovers. I just kept wondering if I was a freak.
Now, I stand proudly with my superpower. Well, except when I'm...you know.
There's only one thing mutant-freaky about me, and it's TMI - so stop reading now if you don't want to know. I'm going to white it out, since my AmeriCorps program director has the address to this blog, and as cool of a guy as John is I don't think he really wants nor needs to know this. Those of you who want to read can highlight below for the fun.
My superpower is the ability to have multiple orgasms. Like Ol' Man River, they just keep rolling along. From whence this talent came I don't think I'll ever know. I first realized I was "abnormal" when my highschool boyfriend commented on it.
"Christ, you just don't stop, do you?"
He wasn't exactly the most tactful of boys, but he was GOOD with his hands. And I didn't know that not everybody had multiple orgasms as easily as breathing. This talent tended to either irk, annoy, or amuse the rest of my lovers. I just kept wondering if I was a freak.
Now, I stand proudly with my superpower. Well, except when I'm...you know.
Monday, February 26, 2007
"Never-Shuts-Up"
At the risk of being completely offensive and definitely NOT "PC", I was thinking earlier about how in first grade around Thanksgiving, we made "indian" headbands that had our made-up "indian" names on them. I had a perm at that time (yep, I was 7 years old with a perm, thanks Grandma) and so my "indian" name was "Princess Golden-Curls".
It got me thinking that if this were at all an appropriate thing to go around giving my whitey-white anglo spawn an "indian" name, it would have to be "Never-Shuts-Up". No "Wind-Rustles-Trees" or "Quiet-Mountain-Stream" here. The child makes noise incessantly. It's all the husband and I can do to get a word in edgewise, she will just not be quiet.
I know some of you are saying, "Gee, I wish my kid would talk," and you've got a valid wish there. I like that she talks, but I don't like that she's a bossy little drama queen who doesn't quite understand the concept of "respect thine elders" and "your turn, my turn" yet.
Our spawn started talking in a coherent and understandable fashion when she was less than 18 months old. It wasn't a lot of words, but she sure as hell got her point across. Now, at 30 months, we're at the point where she speaks well enough to make herself understood to perfect strangers. Very rarely do I need to ask her to repeat anything so I or others can understand it. This is nice. What isn't nice is that she interrupts conversations. She asks me three times the same question after I've already given her an answer. She screams from the backseat of the car until I acknowledge her.
We keep reminding her that it's rude, it's not nice to (insert offense here). Does it help? Ha. Not a chance. I just don't know what to do. She's really hitting the terrible twos - her behavior in other areas is lacking, to say the very least. She's clingy and whiny - what a change from the independent, well-behaved, happy child she was just a couple months ago.
It got me thinking that if this were at all an appropriate thing to go around giving my whitey-white anglo spawn an "indian" name, it would have to be "Never-Shuts-Up". No "Wind-Rustles-Trees" or "Quiet-Mountain-Stream" here. The child makes noise incessantly. It's all the husband and I can do to get a word in edgewise, she will just not be quiet.
I know some of you are saying, "Gee, I wish my kid would talk," and you've got a valid wish there. I like that she talks, but I don't like that she's a bossy little drama queen who doesn't quite understand the concept of "respect thine elders" and "your turn, my turn" yet.
Our spawn started talking in a coherent and understandable fashion when she was less than 18 months old. It wasn't a lot of words, but she sure as hell got her point across. Now, at 30 months, we're at the point where she speaks well enough to make herself understood to perfect strangers. Very rarely do I need to ask her to repeat anything so I or others can understand it. This is nice. What isn't nice is that she interrupts conversations. She asks me three times the same question after I've already given her an answer. She screams from the backseat of the car until I acknowledge her.
We keep reminding her that it's rude, it's not nice to (insert offense here). Does it help? Ha. Not a chance. I just don't know what to do. She's really hitting the terrible twos - her behavior in other areas is lacking, to say the very least. She's clingy and whiny - what a change from the independent, well-behaved, happy child she was just a couple months ago.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Huh?
I was going to write a post on something interesting. I swear I was.
Instead I'm going to go clean the house, listen to the Wicked soundtrack, and sing like my skin is green.
Instead I'm going to go clean the house, listen to the Wicked soundtrack, and sing like my skin is green.
Vrrrooooom!
Oooooooooooooh I got a new car. Well, not "new" but "new to me". It's a 1997 Geo Prism, white. Windows and locks are manual, but it drives great and gets amazing gas mileage, much better than my previous grandma cars. I've put 110 miles on this gas tank already and the fuel gauge is sitting at just under 3/4 of a tank (it's a 10 gallon tank). It's little, but it's fun to drive.
It's nice to be able to not worry about needing to leave work early to cart Kerwin around to classes two days a week. He can take his car and do what he needs to do. He doesn't have to wait for us in the mornings anymore. It's good to get home and be able to set Freyja up with a DVD while I make dinner without Kerwin underfoot.
I do miss riding together because it was a guaranteed 45 minutes a day of being able to talk about politics, current affairs, and other grown-up things. Freyja would sit in her car seat and sing and ask us funny questions.
Another great thing is now Freyja and I are no longer housebound on weekends. We can get out and go to playdates, see friends and family, go to the park, or the mall playplace. We can go to the zoo, or Meijer gardens, or the children's museum.
The carpool era is over; and while it's bittersweet, it's also much less stressful.
It's nice to be able to not worry about needing to leave work early to cart Kerwin around to classes two days a week. He can take his car and do what he needs to do. He doesn't have to wait for us in the mornings anymore. It's good to get home and be able to set Freyja up with a DVD while I make dinner without Kerwin underfoot.
I do miss riding together because it was a guaranteed 45 minutes a day of being able to talk about politics, current affairs, and other grown-up things. Freyja would sit in her car seat and sing and ask us funny questions.
Another great thing is now Freyja and I are no longer housebound on weekends. We can get out and go to playdates, see friends and family, go to the park, or the mall playplace. We can go to the zoo, or Meijer gardens, or the children's museum.
The carpool era is over; and while it's bittersweet, it's also much less stressful.
Friday, February 16, 2007
Home again
I had an educational week in San Diego. I learned a lot, went to some amazing workshops and was able to teach a few people some things as well (like how to: 1. speak tactfully to mamas who wanted to breastfeed but couldn't for whatever reason; 2. practice on-demand infant feeding with formula)
The flight out there was hell. It was so hot and stuffy, plus we had been rerouted because of our commuter plane being late. We went from Detroit to Atlanta to San Diego instead of Detroit to Los Angeles to San Diego. The good part was that the stuffy plane was a SONG by Delta plane and we had little LCD screens for each seat, including a cool flight tracker!
I did enjoy a nice cold shower upon arrival at the hotel (at 2 AM eastern time, 11 pacific). I ended up rooming with a different person than I had planned on, which was fine - we hit it off really well and were up late talking most of the nights.
The hotel/resort was beautiful and so was the weather. The hotel bellboys that we kept hitching golf-cart rides with told us it was "bad" weather. 60 degrees and scattered clouds is not bad weather for Michiganders, especially in February!!! No complaints here. I only left the resort for a little while the entire trip, to ride around on the trolley rail system one afternoon. I hope to go back to San Diego sometime when I'm skinnier.
The flight out there was hell. It was so hot and stuffy, plus we had been rerouted because of our commuter plane being late. We went from Detroit to Atlanta to San Diego instead of Detroit to Los Angeles to San Diego. The good part was that the stuffy plane was a SONG by Delta plane and we had little LCD screens for each seat, including a cool flight tracker!
I did enjoy a nice cold shower upon arrival at the hotel (at 2 AM eastern time, 11 pacific). I ended up rooming with a different person than I had planned on, which was fine - we hit it off really well and were up late talking most of the nights.
The hotel/resort was beautiful and so was the weather. The hotel bellboys that we kept hitching golf-cart rides with told us it was "bad" weather. 60 degrees and scattered clouds is not bad weather for Michiganders, especially in February!!! No complaints here. I only left the resort for a little while the entire trip, to ride around on the trolley rail system one afternoon. I hope to go back to San Diego sometime when I'm skinnier.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Doula!
I just got my first client through the health center! This is so exciting! 2nd time mom, but her other child is eight years old, and her husband travels for work. She's due in early March :D Whoo hoo!
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Moody
I think I'm allergic to my sweater.
No, seriously. It's a nice heathered lavender sweater that I got on clearance at Target over the weekend for $13. Nice simple shape, lightweight, very pretty. Unfortunately it's 7% Angora. I have rabbit-lined gloves and they give me no problems, but maybe breathing the bunny fur in changes things. That, or I'm coming down with something. I cannot possibly be coming down with something because I am leaving for San Diego in four days. Drat!
I've also noticed a friend pulling away from our friendship, and I'm not exactly sure what that's about, which adds to my moodiness. It also seems like she's hanging out with other people and rubbing it in my face. How highschool of me is that?! Maybe it's because I never call - but I never call anybody - and she doens't call me, either. I'm just that type of person that I am completely and totally OK with not speaking to my friends for weeks or months on end - I'm busy and so they must be too. Am I the only person in the universe who thinks that way?
No, seriously. It's a nice heathered lavender sweater that I got on clearance at Target over the weekend for $13. Nice simple shape, lightweight, very pretty. Unfortunately it's 7% Angora. I have rabbit-lined gloves and they give me no problems, but maybe breathing the bunny fur in changes things. That, or I'm coming down with something. I cannot possibly be coming down with something because I am leaving for San Diego in four days. Drat!
I've also noticed a friend pulling away from our friendship, and I'm not exactly sure what that's about, which adds to my moodiness. It also seems like she's hanging out with other people and rubbing it in my face. How highschool of me is that?! Maybe it's because I never call - but I never call anybody - and she doens't call me, either. I'm just that type of person that I am completely and totally OK with not speaking to my friends for weeks or months on end - I'm busy and so they must be too. Am I the only person in the universe who thinks that way?
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