Bad Idea

Remind me never to meditate before going to sleep ever again.

I just woke up from a dream that's left me really shaken - shaken enough to have to get up, check the news, check the phone, check that Freyja is where she's supposed to be. I stopped short of calling Kerwin at work, but if I can't get back to sleep in a half hour or so, I might call him anyway.

I have a cup of tea.

I don't have nightmares often. The dream just started out as odd, but then I got mad about something pretty inconsequential during a family party (I believe I chewed a younger cousin out about how HER religion wasn't the only one in existence, so would she please shut up) . I went outside to take a breather and calm down, and all of a sudden people start pouring out of the house, looking for their family members and their belongings. Something about seventeen people being shot on the floor of a slaughterhouse not far from where we were, and the news said the apocalypse was upon us.

I couldn't find Freyja. I couldn't find Kerwin. I couldn't find my socks. It was dark and they had turned out all the lights in the house, the light switches wouldn't work. Why I was worried about my socks is beyond me. I went into my mom's room (who knows why dream logic works) and got a pair of socks. She coudln't find hers either, so I handed her a pair. She kept screaming something over and over, and I couldn't understand her. As soon as I put the socks on (they were either 60's flower power flowers or stripes...I don't remember which pair I gave my mom), I woke up.

My heart was racing. I had to get up and turn lights on, check on things.

I don't remember the last time I had a serious nightmare bad enough to make me get up out of bed, make a cup of tea, and long desperately for someone to talk to at a quarter to five in the morning.