Labor Update

My water broke on it's own after getting here to the hospital this morning :)

I'm currently 4 cm, which is as far as I got with Freyja in 12 hours of pitocin labor.

I have a VERY slow pitocin drip right now that is doing the trick, it's been in since about 10:30 this morning.

So things are going very well, hopefully we'll have a baby this afternoon or evening :D

All Systems Go

My doctor was back today, and I was happy to see her.

She's concerned about my blood pressure and about the GD. She still wants to give me an honest shot at a vaginal delivery, however. She gave me the choice of an induction or scheduling the repeat c-section.

My cervix is 90% effaced and 2 cm dialated, so I'm favorable for induction. They won't use drugs on a VBAC mama, so at 3 am Wednesday morning, I'm going in to have my water broken. She swept my membranes today and she thinks I have a good chance of going into labor before then anyway.

I know a lot of hardcore VBAC people aren't going to agree with this. They'd be telling me to push for biophysical profile ultrasounds, etc. However, I trust my doctor. She has been completely upfront with me from the beginning about my chances, the risks, the benefits of VBAC. If it wasn't for the GD, she said she'd be happy letting me go to 42 weeks and probably a little longer. I can accept that. She could refuse to induce me at all, but she left the descision up to me (and said she'd prefer I do the induction b/c she'd much rather attend a vaginal delivery than a c-section).

So that's the news here - I get 36-48 hours to go into active labor from the time they rupture me. I have no idea if I get to stay in the hospital that entire time or not. I'll keep the blog updated, since I'll have the laptop.

Never mind, then.

My mom came to get Freyja and I decided to take a little nap while I still could.

Yep, the second I laid down everything stopped except the pelvic pressure. I don't get it, b/c I was up and moving around, cooking, doing laundry, getting a few last things together and they didn't stop then, did they?

I am really frustrated right now, going on two weeks of prodromal labor with nothing to show for it. I hope that my cervix is at least changing.

Slacker!

Totally.

There just hasn't been much going on here to blog about. Life goes on. I have my VBAC consultation on Monday, which I hope goes well. I have a very long list of questions to ask the OB. I hope I don't scare him. I've done my research.

I am getting another ultrasound. It seems that idiot midwife missed the part that said "FOLLOW UP RECOMMENDED" on the report. Marvelous midwife did notice it, however - but only after I asked about the gender and then cried. I didn't intend to cry, but hormones got in the way.

So, that will be on February 4th - a week from Monday. Hopefully baby will cooperate and we'll get the money shot.

Freyja has gone from "If it's a boy, I am running away to live at Grandma's" to "NO, I don't want a GIRL baby, I only like BOY babies."

Gut feeling still says boy. Gut feeling was accurate for Freyja, so we'll see how well mother's intuition plays out this time. Frankly, I hope it's a boy because we decided on a boy name already. Girls names are still up in the air - we have three we both love, and we would probably have to have the baby first and see what name fits her the best.

Sunday Ramblings Redux

I'm trying to do all of my holiday shopping for extended family on the money I have in paypal. My folks offered to help us out. They don't want anything back, but I just don't want to let them if I don't have to. I know I shouldn't be so prideful.

Gosh, it's hard. With me not working, though, it's what we can spare. I love Etsy for this. It's only the men I'm having trouble with. I just finished up two aunts and two cousins with a couple of Etsy purchases! Thankfully, we draw names on both sides so there aren't too many presents to buy. It looks like I'll have $$ left over, so hopefully I can find something cute for Freyja, too. It might not be the almighty Giraffe Tent, but it'll be something.

I enjoy shopping and finding that perfect thing, and being funds-limited just makes it more of a challenge. I'm trying to keep thinking of it that way - challenging, instead of pathetic. We'll at least keep up appearances for the family, though I don't know if Freyja is going to get much of anything from us at all. This is the first year she's really been excited about giving and getting presents, and all of hers will probably be from Grandma.

I know I shouldn't be so upset about a commercialized holiday, but I am. There, I admit it. I love Christmas and I hate being unemployed so our Christmas is going to suck. Kerwin doesn't want me to call the Salvation Army or Toys for Tots or anything like that to see about getting Freyja some presents, either. We've given to those and other similar programs for the past two years - and we will next year if things are better - I don't see the problem in utilizing something like this just this once.

Other than that, we're pretty broke. Kerwin and I have been fighting pretty much non-stop and I'm stressed close to the breaking point which I know can't be that good for the baby. I think he thinks that I'm trying to stay unemployed on purpose, at least that's the feeling I get. Yeah. I like worrying about paying bills and buying groceries. That's SO my idea of a good time.

I've applied for many jobs, I've been told my resume doesn't suck by some people I trust on that, and yet there are no calls. I'm going to head down to Goodwill, Manpower, and a few other agencies this week to see if there's anything they have listed that I qualify for. Temp work would be good right now anyway, considering I don't know how easy it's going to be to convince anyone to hire someone who's 4 months pregnant and will be going on maternity leave in early May anyway.

If you made it through this much of my whining, I thank you.

Assorted Updates

My interview last week went well, at least as far as I could tell. The interviewer and I bonded over a totally off-topic discussion of homebirth and doulas after all the pertinent information was discussed. Hey, anything that will help her remember me!

I should hear about the job by Friday. It's possible that it may be only part-time, but that would be OK as long as I'm still making around what I did with AmeriCorps. It would also cut down on daycare costs!

I'm bringing in a little money here and there with eBay auctions, but I'm losing my mind being at home. Freyja's going to daycare a couple times a week to keep her spot, but neither she nor I are used to being up each other's butt all day. We're still adjusting. Hopefully I'll get this job or another one soon, and she can go back to daycare where I'm sure she has a much more structured day than I could even attempt to give her.

The belly bean is doing fine. I have an appointment next Monday. I'll be 13 weeks, so we should be able to hear the heartbeat. My MW is really good at hunting for it under my fat if I recall correctly from when I was pregnant with Freyja. I had an ultrasound a couple weeks ago, too - I'd scan the picture, but it's not all that exciting - looks like a bean with flippers.

Also, if anyone is crazy enough to want to read my Harry Potter fanfiction, you can check out my livejournal account. I've only done drabbles/100 word so far, but once I finish my fic for an exchange I'm doing, it'll be posted there too. I know there are those of you who think fanfic is scary, so that's all I'll say.

That's about all that's going on around here. Someday soon I'll get back to writing real entries instead of holiday letter-esque updates.