Endings

I have about a month to go in my second AmeriCorps term.

This means I need to get a real job. Also, it means that I need a new blog title. This whole "real job" thing is scary. I like the flexibility I have now, and I know that is going out the window soon. I've gained a lot of good experience, I just hope it's enough to land me a decent-paying office job somewhere. I've applied for a couple, so hopefully they'll at least interview me.

Kerwin started a new job this weekend - working third shift security at a new luxury hotel in the area. He loves it so far, and I hope it continues to treat him well. Anything's better than Best Buy at this point - he plans to stay on at least one day a week there. We love the discount and it's too good to give up! His discount via the hotel is excellent, as well. We may actually be able to afford a honeymoon for our 5th anniversary.

Eight Things About My Marriage

1. Where did you meet your husband? Online, at a chat site called Alamak. We met in the "think cafe", a place for pseudo-intellectuals. In reality, it was the only room on the site where you could get a decent conversation without getting "A/S/L??!!1 U want 2 cyber?" every two seconds.

2. What was the first thing you said to your husband? In real life? I can't remember. It was probably, "Hi! Finally found you!"

3. Where was your first kiss? First date? First kiss and first date were the same day, I suppose. We kissed on one of the sidewalks outside of the Field Museum in Chicago - which was where we had our first meeting/date.

4. Did you have a long or short courtship/engagement? We met online in January of 1999, started "courting" online in January of 2002, met in April of 2002, he moved here in July of 2002. He proposed in January 2003, and we were married September 2003. I'd say it was about an average courtship and engagement.

5. Where did you get engaged? I was sitting on our bed, and I was pissed off at him because I knew the ring was back from being sized and he was hiding at one of our friends' houses instead of coming home and proposing like he was supposed to. He came home, handed me a rose from the gas station, and I was all "whatever!" and threw the rose on the bed. He handed it back to me and said that I might want to look at it a little closer. He had hidden the ring in the petals of the rose. I said "You BITCH!", and he pulled the ring out and asked me to marry him. Of course, I said yes - but he told everybody I called him a bitch when he proposed.

6. Where did you get married? At my mom's church on September 26, 2003 in a very small ceremony in their prayer room. We had planned on the courthouse, but they were booked up on our date. Enter our white knight in the guise of my mom's pastor, Julie, who helped us put together an amazing non-trinitarian ceremony that was as pagan as we were going to get in a Lutheran church.

7. How did the reception go? We had an open house, with a pig roast. It was very relaxed, people came and went, and we had a good time. No dancing.

8. How was the honeymoon? I'll let you know when I finally get one. We're hoping we'll be able to afford one for our 5th anniversary next year.

Stole this from Deb

Five Questions

1. I need to know-I LOVE the name Freyja-why did you pick it?

Freyja's name was proposed by my husband - he's a Norse Trad pagan. Freyja is the Norse goddess of love, lust, and war (I found a t-shirt somewhere on the web recently that had a picture of Freyja with the slogan "Freyja - if you can't lay it, slay it"). We wanted a name that was strong, meaningful, and unusual, without being too weird - we both have healthy amounts of Germanic and Scandi heritage, so the family thought it was a great name, if slightly odd. Other names we tossed around for her were Maureen and Ysabel, but when I found my due date was going to be on a Friday, which is Freyja's/Frigga's day, I knew we'd found the right name. Looking back, I don't see how we could have named her anything else. Her middle name is Louise, which means "warrior".

2. If you could be doing anything, ANYTHING in the world, what would you do?

Anything? I could toe the party line and say I'd be doula-ing for a living, but that wouldn't be true. I love doula-ing, but I love acting more. I'd be on Broadway, doing plays and musicals. There's a whole list of roles I want to get through, Elphaba in "Wicked", Kate Monster in "Avenue Q", Carlotta in "Phantom of the Opera"...I could go on. I love to sing and most of the CDs in my car are musical soundtracks.

3. If your man sends you flowers, what ones must they be? Why?

My man never sends me flowers - I'm more likely to send HIM flowers. I love daisies and carnations. Either of those is a good bet. I like purple daisies the best, or big huge bright orange gerbera daisies. Roses are nice, but IMO die too quickly once cut. Daises and carns can last a month if you care for them properly.

4. What kind of an animal is Gonzo anyway?

Gosh, I don't know. I don't think he's an animal at all, but some kind of alien - didn't they confirm that with "Muppets in Space"? I'd say he's a cross between an anteater and a baby elephant.

5. Are you assertive and almost rude with mean/jerky people, or do you seethe quietly?

It depends on the situation. I don't like mean/jerky people. If it's family, I seethe and plot revenge (and usually get it). If it's at work, I try my best to be assertive and use big words the mean/jerky person will not understand. If it's some asshat in a store I'll never see again, I am assertive and probably very rude, but IMO they have it coming.

Interview rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying "Interview Me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with a post containing your the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Today's Quiz

Stolen from Eden.

You are The Devil

Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession

The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.

Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

More Pirate Shenanigans

In a Very Serious (meaning we had a ballpoint pen and were doodling on the back of the advertising place-mats) planning session at our favorite greasy spoon on Friday night (they aren't lying about the best coffee in the area - it's like crack, it's so good), I cracked a devious and masterful plot over my coke and cheese fries.

The only thing better than a pirate party is, of course, a pirate party where everyone has a pirate alias. We compiled three lists - titles, first names, and surnames - and everyone will have to assume a pirate alias and wear it around on a name-tag (sticky, of course).

I am still at a loss, however, as how to accomplish this. Shall I just provide the lists, and everyone chooses a name they like from each list, or do I make them draw and end up with what they get? My evil side likes the second option.

I already chose my name, of course. I'm in charge of this shindig, so I'm the Commodore. Commodore "Wily" Maureen Bellamy, to be exact. Now to convince Kerwin to buy me a hat. A big one. With a feather in it (I know that the highest rank is Fleet Admiral - but I think Commodore has more flair).

Something more

This is my entry for August's Pulsate Olympics.

The first time I laid eyes on my husband after he packed up and left his family home like a thief in the night was on a hot summer afternoon. I had spent the morning baking blueberry muffins (the blueberries picked from the patch at my then-boss's house) to quell my nerves. We had met two months before in Chicago, on neutral ground - this would be our first meeting on my home turf, as it were. I paced between the kitchen and living room, looking out to the driveway at the slightest noise of cars going by. Finally, finally he pulled into the driveway and clambered out of the tiny car.

He had been driving for thirteen hours straight in a Chevy Metro. He was sweaty and tired, dressed in jean shorts and a tee shirt with a lizard on it, and he was the most beautiful and welcome sight I'd ever seen. I remember flinging open the door and wrapping myself around him before he could even say a word - claiming him, in my own way, as my own - this man who would leave his family and friends to travel across three states in hopes of building a relationship with me.

We had spent three years getting to know each other online and by letters and infrequent phone calls, first as friends. We had helped each other through breakups and betrayals with others. When I'd had my heart broken by a boy who I thought would be "the one", he had commented on his sincere regret that he was in a relationship at the time. A year later, that relationship was over and we were building a tentative courtship. Being courted online was a singular experience - it was easier for me, a shy bookworm, to express my feelings through the written word - and by the time he arrived on my doorstep we knew each other very well indeed.

"You're here, you're really here," I whispered as I wrapped my arms around him, wanting to commit him to memory. And he was. And he stayed.

We're celebrating our fourth anniversary this September. I won't say it's been all sweetness and light - but whenever I think of him standing there on the doorstep on that July afternoon, I remember what he gave up to come to me, I remember both of us shedding our vulnerability in hopes of finding something more.

Pirate Party!

Well, I'm glad I didn't do these until today, as my cousin decided to schedule her daughter's party the same day.

Combined parties are out of the question. I had one in my youth and hated it. I think Freyja deserves undivided attention for her special day.

I ended up moving the party a week later - gives me more time to get ready, in any case.

Here's the invite - cute, no?

The Visit

Freyja met her paternal grandparents for the first time yesterday. They live three states away.
It took her a bit to warm up, but it was a good visit all around.

The house was clean, but my mother in law still felt she needed to help in tidying Freyja's room. I know she meant well. Honestly, I really do. I still felt like a shit. I know I'm no domestic goddess, but I do the best I can.

They stayed with us last night, we had a nice breakfast of waffles and sausage, with "sparkly juice" and real organic maple syrup.

Freyja had a good time, and they loved her, so I suppose that's what really counts.

Stress

Not only have I missed my appointments, we've had car issues, plumbing issues, our air conditioner is starting to crap out, I still don't have a new oven knob, and my inlaws are coming to stay this weekend. Add that to vitamin Z not really being useful for bipolar, and I am one tense, moody chick.

I wish I could get some xanax or something without looking like a drug seeker. *sigh*